I remember sitting on the purplish pews at our church in San Marco & hearing a new friend share her testimony of recently being saved & how being a Christian was so much fun. I think I might have laughed to myself & mumbled under my breathe, “Yeah, right. Just give it some time & then your tune will change”. To me, being a Christian meant rules, being different, trying not to “mess up” so God wouldn’t cut me off or shut the door on me, & sort of just biding my time on planet Earth & never enjoying the journey. Then, in that same church I sat in the kitchen area with an elder & cried as I watched all that I’d known & trusted fall apart as our church made a major split. It was then I had to find God for myself. So, I began a journey of searching for truth & finding freedom. I church hopped for a bit, went to conferences my mom was going to, prayed for God to show me who He was, & then I sat in that elder’s son’s kitchen & something happened. He prayed for me. I can’t remember what he talked to God about on my behalf but I remember my life shifting in that moment. I felt the Father’s love like never before. I knew without a doubt He loved me & all of a sudden my friend who said being a Christian was fun had proven me wrong. My tune changed & following God in this journey became such a fun adventure.
My walk with God & learning to trust Him has opened so many amazing doors for me. Yes, it’s been scary but as He’s proven that He is always there time & time again I’ve learned that when it’s time to move in a new direction that He’s leading me in I know that there is excitement & good things in store. He led me into photography, He taught me that it really is all about love, He’s shown me that He loves me the way I am & I have things this world needs, He moved me to Selma (that was hard) but oh so worth it, He’s led me to my mate & a new city, & now I feel Him leading me in a new direction & I couldn’t be more excited. I feel like I’m being led into being more of who He created me to be. He’s giving me new creative ideas & an excitement again about this journey He has me on. I feel doors about to swing wide, hearts about to be healed, & a renewed joy for creating with Him.
If you are where I was, feeling like walking with God is a drag, I get it. Believe me. There were times I wished I didn’t know about God or that it wasn’t so important to my parents that I live a “holy” life. I wanted to be able to just go to church (or not) & feel like that was enough or say a quick prayer & feel like I’d done my part. I know the idea of sacrificing your life to follow Him can seem so overwhelming & like you’ll miss out on things. I know! I felt like I missed out for a long time but then. . . when i decided to just let go & say, “Okay, God. Show me what you got.”, it was like my world was painted with colors I’d never seen. I found freedom & joy like never before. The fun thing is, is that this journey only gets more exciting, adventurous, & fun! As, I begin to walk in this new direction I feel a permanent smile on my face & on my heart knowing that it’s going to be just another step in further freedom of who He created me to be – my true authentic self. Knowing that He loves me the way that I am, that He longs for relationship with me, & when I do what He’s leading me to do I bring Him so much joy is a feeling like no other.
So, I pray today, no matter where you are in your life, whether you walk with God or not, you’d know that He loves you so dearly. You are His favorite & when He looks on you He sees you as He created you & He is so proud of you. When you feel lonely & lost in this great big busy world please know that you are always always always seen & loved by the creator of the universe. He is constantly at your side, waiting for you to take His hand & go on a journey with Him. He will never close the door on you! He has big plans for you & they are good & they are so much fun! Don’t be afraid to go on adventure with Him, it’s well worth it & so much fun!